Interpersonal Therapy for Relationship Difficulties
Relationships are central to our sense of wellbeing. When things feel calm, connected, and supportive with the people in our lives, everything else tends to run more smoothly. But when communication becomes strained, conflict builds, or emotional distance starts to grow, it can leave you feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or unsure how to put things right.
A lot of people assume that the only way to work on relationship problems is through couples' therapy. But actually, that isn’t always necessary—or even the most helpful route. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) offers a different approach: it’s an individual therapy, designed to help you understand and improve your side of the relational pattern. You don’t need your partner, friend, parent, or anyone else to attend sessions with you. It’s about your experiences, your communication style, and the changes you want to make.
In this post, I’ll walk you through how IPT works for relationship difficulties from an individual perspective. I’ll share examples, explore the kinds of changes people often make, and explain how working on your own patterns can lead to meaningful improvements. And if anything resonates with you as you’re reading, please feel free to get in touch—I’m always happy to talk through whether IPT could be a good fit.
What Is IPT—and Why Does It Work for Relationship Difficulties?
Interpersonal Therapy starts with a straightforward but powerful idea: our relationships affect our emotions, and our emotions affect how we behave in relationships. When communication breaks down or patterns become unhelpful, it can contribute to feelings of depression, anxiety, frustration, or disconnection.
Although it focuses on relationships, IPT is always delivered one-to-one.
This is important because it means:
You don’t need anyone else to attend the sessions.
You can explore things openly without worrying about someone else’s reactions.
You can focus on what you want and what you can change.
In IPT, we look at:
How you communicate when you’re under stress
How you respond to conflict or misunderstandings
What triggers certain emotional reactions
What you want or need from relationships
How you can express yourself more clearly and calmly
How you can navigate difficult situations with more confidence
You may be surprised by how much can shift in a relationship when you begin relating differently.
Why Relationship Difficulties Arise (Even in Healthy Relationships)
Difficulties don’t necessarily mean a relationship is failing. In fact, problems often crop up during times of stress or transition, such as:
A new job or redundancy
Moving house or relocating
Becoming a parent
Illness in the family
Bereavement
Financial pressure
Changes in daily routine
Feeling emotionally exhausted or overloaded
It’s common for people to blame themselves or assume they “should” cope better, but realistically, these pressures can unsettled even the strongest relationships.
IPT helps you take a step back, understand what’s going on, and explore how you can respond in a way that feels healthier and more intentional.
How IPT Works When It’s Just You in the Room
Although IPT focuses on improving your relationships, the work happens individually. Together we explore your thoughts, your emotions, and your communication patterns.
Here’s what that might look like:
1. Understanding Your Relational Style
We begin by looking at how you typically communicate and respond in relationships. This might include:
How you behave when you’re upset
Whether you tend to withdraw, shut down, defend yourself, or try to “fix” things quickly
What makes you feel unheard or misunderstood
What you find difficult to express
Patterns you’ve noticed across different relationships
This isn’t about blame—it's about clarity.
For example:
A client realised that when they felt hurt, they withdrew to avoid conflict. Their partner interpreted this as a lack of interest. In IPT, the client learned to express, “I need a moment, but I’m not going anywhere.” That one sentence changed the dynamic significantly—without their partner ever attending therapy.
2. Building Practical Communication Tools
Communication is a skill, not something we instinctively do well. IPT helps you develop tools such as:
Using “I” statements to express emotions
Saying what you need rather than expecting others to guess
Recognising early signs of overwhelm
Creating space before responding
Expressing frustration without criticism
Setting calm, healthy boundaries
Repairing after conflict in a more grounded way
These tools come from you, which means they’re fully within your control.
3. Exploring Role Disputes
A role dispute occurs when you and someone else have different expectations about your relationship. It might relate to:
household responsibilities
parenting
how affection is shown
how decisions are made
how much time is spent together or apart
emotional support
You don’t need the other person present to explore these things. IPT helps you clarify your expectations, articulate them more clearly, and approach conversations with more confidence and calmness.
4. Rebuilding Emotional Connection From Your Side
You may be surprised by how much emotional closeness can return when one person begins communicating differently. IPT helps strengthen connection by supporting you to:
Understand your emotions more clearly
Share vulnerability in a safe, grounded way
Respond to others with more empathy
Break out of unhelpful reaction cycles
Communicate reassurance or warmth more openly
This can have a profound impact on your relationships, even though the work is one-to-one.
Examples of IPT for Relationship Difficulties (Individual Work)
Here are a few examples (with all identifying details changed) to show how IPT works in practice.
Example 1: “I Avoid Any Difficult Conversation”
Alex avoided conflict completely. If something felt uncomfortable, they shut down. In IPT, Alex explored where this pattern came from and learned ways to express small concerns before they built up. Alex’s partner didn’t attend therapy, yet the relationship improved simply because Alex communicated differently.
Example 2: “Arguments Spiral Quickly”
Sam found arguments escalated within minutes. Through IPT, Sam identified triggers, learned to pause, and practised expressing difficult emotions more calmly. Their partner noticed the change straight away, and arguments became shorter and far less intense.
Example 3: “We Drifted Apart After a Big Life Change”
After moving to a new city, Emma felt anxious and disconnected from their partner. IPT helped Emma understand how stress was affecting their communication and how to ask for support more clearly. By shifting their approach, connection gradually returned.
Again, no couples' therapy was involved—just individual work.
What IPT Sessions Look Like
IPT is structured but warm. You can expect:
Early sessions
Understanding the issue
Mapping out relationship patterns
Setting goals
Middle sessions
Practising communication strategies
Exploring recent situations
Trying out new approaches between sessions
Later sessions
Strengthening new habits
Reviewing progress
Planning for future challenges
Each session builds on the last and always feels purposeful.
How IPT Feels From the Inside
People often worry they’ll feel blamed or judged when exploring relationship difficulties, but IPT isn’t about fault-finding. It’s about clarity, agency, and emotional understanding.
You can expect to:
Feel supported and understood
Gain insight into your own patterns
Build confidence in expressing yourself
Develop healthier boundaries
Create positive change from your side alone
Strengthen the relationships that matter to you
You can’t control someone else’s behaviour, but you can change how you communicate, respond, and care for yourself. That often creates more space for connection and understanding.
Is IPT Right for You?
IPT may be helpful if you:
Struggle with communication
Avoid conflict
Feel misunderstood
Notice the same relational patterns repeating
Want clearer boundaries
Experience recurring arguments
Feel disconnected from someone important to you
Want to change how you show up in relationships
You don’t need to be in crisis to seek support. Many people use IPT to enhance their relationships, not just repair them.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
If you’ve recognised yourself in any of this—or if you’re curious about whether IPT could help—you’re very welcome to reach out. I offer a friendly, no-pressure conversation where we can talk about what you’re struggling with and whether IPT might be the right approach for you.
Sometimes working on your side of the relationship is the most empowering step you can take. If you’d like guidance as you begin that journey, I’d be happy to help.
