Still Feeling Anxious After Your First Week Back at Work? You’re Not Alone

For many people, the first few days back at work feel like something to get through. You open the inbox, attend the meetings, and tell yourself things will settle once you’re back in routine.

But a week in, you might still feel tense, exhausted, or on edge. The anxiety hasn’t lifted. You’re functioning, but it doesn’t feel comfortable. You might even be telling yourself you should be coping better by now.

If that’s where you are, you’re not failing. Ongoing anxiety after returning to work is extremely common — and it’s one of the reasons people often reach out for support at this time of year.

What I Often See in the Therapy Room

When people come to me after returning to work, they often describe similar experiences:

• A constant feeling of pressure or urgency

• Difficulty switching off in the evenings

• Self-doubt about performance or capability

• Overworking to keep anxiety at bay

• Feeling emotionally drained despite “managing”

These experiences aren’t a sign that someone can’t cope. They’re usually a sign that the nervous system has stayed in a heightened state for too long.

A big part of my work involves helping people understand why this is happening and what keeps it going — without judgement or pressure to “just push through”.

Why Anxiety Can Linger After You’re Back

Many people expect anxiety to ease once they’re back in routine. When it doesn’t, self-criticism often creeps in.

In my work, we slow things down and look at:

• The expectations you’re placing on yourself

• How you’re responding to pressure at work

• The ways you might be coping that actually keep anxiety going

• Patterns that may have been present long before the break

Often, anxiety lingers not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you’ve been relying on coping strategies that worked short-term but are no longer sustainable.

How I Help With Work-Related Anxiety

Rather than focusing on labels, my approach is practical and collaborative. I help people:

• Make sense of what’s driving their anxiety

• Identify unhelpful patterns in how they think, work, and respond to stress

• Reduce constant tension and overworking

• Rebuild confidence in a way that feels steady rather than forced

This isn’t about changing who you are or lowering standards. It’s about working in a way that protects your wellbeing while still allowing you to function and perform.

Addressing the Pressure to ‘Be Back to Normal’

One of the most common themes I work with is the pressure people put on themselves to “be back to normal” after a week or two.

Together, we look at:

• Where these expectations come from

• Whether they’re realistic or fair

• How they affect your mood, energy, and anxiety

Learning to relate differently to these internal pressures often reduces anxiety far more than trying to silence it.

When Overworking Becomes Part of the Problem

Many people cope with work anxiety by working harder. Staying late, skipping breaks, constantly checking emails — these behaviours often come from a place of responsibility, not weakness.

In therapy, I help people recognise when these patterns are:

• Maintaining anxiety rather than reducing it

• Contributing to exhaustion or burnout

• Reinforcing fear about slowing down

From there, we experiment with more sustainable ways of working that still feel safe and responsible.

Rebuilding Confidence Without Forcing It

Confidence rarely returns just because we tell ourselves everything is fine. In my work, I help people rebuild confidence gradually, by:

• Noticing what they’re already coping with

• Reducing self-criticism around performance

• Testing out changes at a manageable pace

This often leads to a steadier sense of confidence — not the kind that depends on constant reassurance or perfection.

Is This About Anxiety, Burnout, or Both?

For some people, returning-to-work anxiety is a sign that burnout was already present before the break. Therapy can help clarify what’s going on, rather than treating everything as the same problem.

Together, we look at:

• Emotional exhaustion

• Boundaries and workload

• Long-term stress patterns

• What needs to change to prevent ongoing strain

This understanding helps guide practical, realistic changes.

When It Might Be Helpful to Reach Out

You don’t need to be at breaking point to benefit from therapy. Many people contact me when:

• Anxiety hasn’t eased after returning to work

• Work stress is affecting sleep or relationships

• They feel constantly “on edge”

• This pattern repeats after every break

Early support can often prevent anxiety from becoming more entrenched.

Support That’s Practical and Grounded

If work-related anxiety is lingering after your first week back, therapy can offer a space to pause, reflect, and work out a different way forward.

My focus is on helping you feel more settled, more confident, and better able to manage work pressures without burning out or constantly pushing yourself.

If you’d like to explore whether working together might be helpful, you’re very welcome to get in touch.

Low Motivation in January: Why Forcing Change Doesn’t Work

January has a reputation for being a month of fresh starts and renewed motivation. Gyms fill up, planners get dusted off, and there’s a sense that this is the moment to finally get things together.

But for many people, January feels anything but motivating.

Instead, it can feel flat, heavy, or emotionally draining. Getting out of bed feels harder. Tasks that normally feel manageable suddenly take more effort. You might find yourself procrastinating, withdrawing, or quietly beating yourself up for not feeling more driven.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not lazy, broken, or failing. You’re having a very human response to a time of year that places a lot of pressure on people — often without acknowledging how tired or overwhelmed they already are.

From a CBT perspective, low motivation isn’t something to fight against or force your way through. It’s something to understand.

Why January Motivation Is Often Low

There are several reasons motivation commonly dips in January, even though we’re told it should be high.

For many people, December is emotionally and physically demanding. Social commitments, family dynamics, financial stress, disrupted routines, and heightened expectations all take their toll. By the time January arrives, there’s often very little left in the tank.

Add to that:

• Short, dark days

• Cold weather

• Reduced social contact

• Pressure to “start fresh”

It’s no surprise that energy and motivation feel low.

CBT encourages us to step back from self-blame and instead look at context. Low motivation doesn’t appear out of nowhere — it’s usually a response to circumstances, stress, mood, or unhelpful thinking patterns.

The Problem with “Just Pushing Yourself”

A common response to low motivation is to tell yourself to try harder. Thoughts like:

• “I just need to get on with it”

• “Other people manage this”

• “If I don’t push myself, nothing will change”

While this might work briefly, it often backfires.

From a CBT point of view, harsh self-talk increases pressure, which tends to increase avoidance. The more you tell yourself you should be doing something, the heavier and more emotionally loaded it becomes. This can create a cycle where:

1. Motivation drops

2. Self-criticism increases

3. Tasks feel overwhelming

4. Avoidance increases

5. Motivation drops further

This cycle is common in both low mood and anxiety, and it’s one of the key patterns CBT aims to interrupt.

How CBT Understands Motivation

CBT doesn’t see motivation as something you either have or don’t have. Instead, motivation is influenced by:

• Mood

• Thoughts

• Behaviour

• Physical state (sleep, energy, health)

When mood is low or anxiety is high, motivation naturally drops. Expecting yourself to feel driven and enthusiastic during these times is often unrealistic.

One of the most important CBT ideas is this:
You don’t need motivation to start — you build motivation by starting small.

This is a shift many people find both relieving and challenging.

Behaviour Comes Before Motivation

In CBT, we often talk about behavioural activation. This means gently increasing activity levels in a planned, manageable way — even when motivation is low.

The goal isn’t to suddenly become productive or upbeat. It’s to reduce withdrawal and inactivity, which tend to maintain low mood.

For example, instead of:

• “I need to feel motivated before I go for a walk”

CBT might suggest:

• “I’ll go for a five-minute walk and see how I feel afterwards”

This isn’t about forcing yourself through misery. It’s about recognising that mood often improves after action, not before it.

Why Small Steps Matter

When motivation is low, the mind tends to think in extremes:

• “If I can’t do it properly, there’s no point”

• “I’ll start when I have more energy”

• “I need to do everything at once”

CBT works against this by deliberately making steps smaller than you think they need to be.

Small steps:

• Reduce overwhelm

• Lower the emotional barrier to starting

• Create a sense of movement

• Build evidence that change is possible

This might look like:

• Opening your laptop rather than completing a task

• Getting dressed rather than going out

• Responding to one email instead of clearing your inbox

These steps may seem insignificant, but psychologically they matter a great deal.

The Role of Self-Criticism

Low motivation is often accompanied by a harsh inner voice. People tell themselves they’re lazy, weak, or lacking discipline. CBT sees self-criticism not as motivation, but as another factor that keeps people stuck.

When you’re constantly telling yourself you’re not good enough, your nervous system stays in a threat state. In that state, it’s much harder to focus, plan, or take action.

CBT helps people recognise this inner critic and develop a more balanced, supportive internal dialogue — not to let themselves off the hook, but to create conditions where change is actually possible.

Motivation and Anxiety

Low motivation isn’t always about low mood. For many people, anxiety plays a big role.

Anxiety can make tasks feel risky, effortful, or emotionally draining. Avoidance then becomes a way of coping. Over time, avoidance reduces confidence and increases fear, which further lowers motivation.

CBT works by helping people:

• Understand what they’re avoiding and why

• Test out feared situations gradually

• Learn that discomfort can be tolerated

As confidence increases, motivation often follows naturally.

Why Being Kind to Yourself Isn’t “Giving Up”

Many people worry that if they stop pushing themselves, they’ll become stuck forever. CBT challenges this belief.

Compassion isn’t about lowering standards or avoiding responsibility. It’s about responding to difficulty in a way that supports change rather than sabotages it.

When people feel safe rather than criticised, they’re more likely to engage, try again, and persist.

When Low Motivation Persists

If low motivation has been present for weeks or months, or is accompanied by persistent low mood, anxiety, or withdrawal from things you used to enjoy, it may be a sign that some additional support could help.

CBT can help you:

• Understand what’s driving your low motivation

• Break unhelpful cycles

• Rebuild routine and confidence

• Develop a kinder relationship with yourself

You don’t have to wait until things reach breaking point. Support can be helpful even when difficulties feel subtle but persistent.

A Different Way to Think About January

January doesn’t have to be about transformation. It can be about stabilising, recovering, and gently finding your footing again.

If motivation is low, that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It might mean your system is asking for a slower, more supportive approach.

And sometimes, the most meaningful change starts not with pushing harder — but with understanding yourself better.

If this resonates and you’d like support with low motivation, anxiety, or mood, you’re very welcome to get in touch for a free consultation.

New Year, New Starts: Setting Goals (Without Beating Yourself Up) – and How CBT Can Help

The New Year often arrives carrying a lot of expectation. We’re encouraged to reflect, reset, and reimagine ourselves as somehow improved versions of who we were just weeks before. For some people, that feels hopeful. For many others, it feels heavy, pressurised, or quietly anxiety-provoking.

If you’ve ever made New Year’s resolutions with the best of intentions, only to feel deflated or disappointed a few weeks later, you’re very much not alone. As a CBT therapist, I see this pattern a lot. The problem isn’t that you lack willpower or motivation. More often, it’s the way goals are set, the expectations attached to them, and the way we talk to ourselves when things don’t go perfectly.

This blog is about approaching the New Year a little more kindly, thinking differently about goals, and how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help make change feel more realistic and sustainable.

The Pressure of a “Fresh Start”

The idea of a New Year’s fresh start is appealing. We’re surrounded by messages telling us this is the time to overhaul our lives: be healthier, more productive, more confident, more successful. While change can be positive, these messages often ignore how complex life actually is.

Many people come into January already feeling tired, burnt out, or stuck in patterns that didn’t magically reset at midnight on 31st December. When we pile unrealistic goals on top of that, it can quickly lead to feelings of failure, shame, or “what’s wrong with me?”

CBT encourages us to pause and look at what’s really going on beneath these patterns, rather than blaming ourselves.

Why Goals Often Don’t Stick

One common reason New Year goals fall apart is that they’re based on “shoulds” rather than values. Thoughts like:

• “I should be fitter.”

• “I should be more confident.”

• “I should have my life sorted by now.”

These kinds of goals are often driven by self-criticism or comparison, rather than genuine desire or meaning. CBT helps us notice these unhelpful thinking patterns and gently challenge them.

Another issue is all-or-nothing thinking. For example, deciding to exercise every day, eat perfectly, or never feel anxious again. When life inevitably gets in the way, one missed day can quickly turn into “I’ve failed, so what’s the point?”

In CBT, we work on developing more flexible, compassionate ways of thinking that allow room for setbacks without giving up entirely.

A CBT-Friendly Way of Thinking About Goals

Rather than big, sweeping resolutions, CBT encourages smaller, more realistic changes that build over time. This might sound less exciting, but it’s often far more effective.

Instead of asking, “What should I change about myself this year?”, CBT invites questions like:

• What’s currently making life harder for me?

• What would help me cope a little better day to day?

• What small change could make things feel even 10% easier?

These kinds of questions shift the focus away from “fixing yourself” and towards supporting yourself.

Understanding the Role of Thoughts

CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and behaviours are all connected. When it comes to goals, unhelpful thoughts can quietly sabotage our efforts.

For example:

• “If I don’t do this perfectly, there’s no point.”

• “Other people manage this, so I should too.”

• “I’ve failed at this before, so I’ll probably fail again.”

In CBT, we learn to notice these thoughts, step back from them, and test how accurate or helpful they really are. This doesn’t mean forcing positive thinking, but developing a more balanced and realistic inner dialogue.

Over time, this can make working towards goals feel less emotionally draining and more manageable.

Behaviour Change That Actually Feels Possible

CBT places a strong emphasis on behaviour, but in a very practical, compassionate way. Rather than relying on motivation (which comes and goes), CBT focuses on building habits that fit into real life.

This might involve:

• Breaking goals down into very small steps

• Planning for obstacles rather than being surprised by them

• Linking new behaviours to existing routines

• Noticing what helps and what gets in the way

For example, instead of “I’ll go to the gym five times a week”, a CBT-informed goal might be “I’ll go for a 10-minute walk twice a week and see how that feels”. Small successes build confidence, which then makes bigger changes feel possible.

What If Your Goal Is About Mental Health?

Many New Year goals are really about wanting to feel better emotionally: less anxious, less low, more confident, more in control. CBT can be particularly helpful here, because it focuses on understanding patterns that keep difficulties going.

Rather than aiming to “never feel anxious again” (which isn’t realistic for any human), CBT might help you work towards:

• Feeling more able to cope when anxiety shows up

• Reducing avoidance

• Responding to difficult thoughts in a kinder way

• Re-engaging with things that matter to you

These shifts might be subtle at first, but they often lead to meaningful, lasting change.

Letting Go of the Timeline

Another helpful New Year reframe is letting go of the idea that change has to happen quickly. January can create a sense of urgency: “If I don’t sort this now, I never will.” CBT encourages patience and curiosity instead.

Change rarely happens in a straight line. There will be weeks where things feel easier, and others where old patterns resurface. That doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. It means you’re human.

Learning to respond to setbacks with understanding rather than criticism is often a key part of progress.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re reading this and recognising yourself – perhaps feeling stuck in the same cycles every year, or frustrated that goals never seem to last – it might be worth getting some support.

CBT isn’t about telling you what your goals should be. It’s about helping you understand yourself better, work with your mind rather than against it, and make changes that actually fit your life.

If you’re considering making this year a little different, and you’d like support with goal setting, motivation, anxiety, low mood, or self-criticism, you’re very welcome to get in touch. Sometimes the most helpful new start isn’t a resolution, but a conversation.

Whatever this year holds for you, I hope you’re able to approach it with a bit more kindness towards yourself. Change is possible – and it doesn’t have to begin with pressure.

Managing Christmas Conflict: An IPT Perspective on Communication

Christmas is often talked about as a time of connection, warmth and togetherness. And for some people, it really is. But for many others, it’s a season filled with pressure, awkward conversations and old conflicts resurfacing.

If you’ve ever found yourself dreading family gatherings, walking on eggshells around certain people, or replaying arguments long after Christmas dinner has ended, you’re certainly not alone. In my work as a therapist, I often hear that the festive period amplifies communication difficulties that already exist — it just brings them into sharper focus.

One helpful way of understanding and managing this is through Interpersonal Therapy (IPT). IPT is an evidence-based therapy that looks at how our relationships, roles and patterns of communication affect how we feel. Around Christmas, this perspective can be especially useful.

Why Christmas Brings Communication Difficulties to the Surface

Christmas comes with a lot of unspoken expectations. We expect people to behave differently, relationships to feel closer, and gatherings to go smoothly — often without actually saying any of this out loud.

You might expect:

• Family members to be more considerate or supportive

• Old conflicts to stay firmly in the past

• Everyone to “just get on” for the sake of the day

When these expectations aren’t met, disappointment and frustration can build very quickly. IPT would describe this as a role dispute — where two or more people have different expectations about how they should relate to one another.

Role Disputes: A Common Christmas Pattern

Role disputes are a key focus in IPT, and Christmas is full of them. These might look like:

• Disagreements about who is hosting or doing the cooking

• Tension around how time is divided between families

• Conflict about parenting, money, or lifestyle choices

• Feeling criticised, dismissed, or not listened to

Often, these disputes aren’t really about Christmas at all. They’re about long-standing patterns that resurface when people spend more time together. IPT helps make sense of these patterns, rather than seeing them as personal failures or “just how families are”.

Looking at Communication, Not Blame

One thing I really value about IPT is that it focuses on communication, not blame. Instead of asking, “Who’s at fault?”, we ask, “What happened in that interaction?”

A key IPT technique is communication analysis. This involves gently looking back at a conversation and exploring:

• What was said

• How it was said

• What was meant

• How it was received

For example, a comment intended as helpful advice might land as criticism. Or silence might be meant as self-protection but interpreted as rejection. When emotions are running high, these misunderstandings become much more likely.

Small Changes That Can Reduce Conflict

You don’t need perfect communication to get through Christmas. Small, intentional changes can make a meaningful difference.

Say What You Need — Gently

Rather than hoping others will notice how you feel, try putting it into words. Simple, clear statements like:

• “I’d really appreciate a bit of quiet time later”

• “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and might step outside for a few minutes”

Clear communication reduces resentment and misunderstandings.

Use “I” Statements

When tensions rise, it’s easy to fall into “you always” or “you never”. IPT encourages using “I” statements instead:

• “I feel hurt when…”

• “I get anxious when…”

This helps others hear you without feeling attacked.

Accept That You Can’t Control Others

You can communicate clearly and kindly — but you can’t control how others respond. Part of managing Christmas conflict is recognising what is and isn’t within your control, and letting go of unrealistic expectations.

Have an Exit Strategy

It’s okay to take breaks. Stepping outside, changing the subject, or ending a visit earlier than planned isn’t failure — it’s self-care.

When Christmas Conflict Feels Like a Pattern

For some people, Christmas arguments feel like part of a much bigger picture. You might notice that:

• Similar conflicts happen year after year

• You avoid saying what you really feel

• You feel anxious or low before seeing certain people

• Relationships leave you feeling drained or misunderstood

This is where working therapeutically with an IPT framework can really help. In therapy, we can explore your specific relationships, identify recurring communication patterns, and practise new ways of expressing yourself more confidently and clearly.

How IPT Can Help Beyond the Festive Season

IPT isn’t about teaching you scripts or telling you what to say. It’s about understanding your relationships and helping you communicate in a way that feels authentic and effective.

People often find IPT helpful for:

• Ongoing family or relationship conflict

• Difficulty asserting boundaries

• Feeling unheard or misunderstood

• Low mood linked to interpersonal stress

If Christmas feels particularly difficult for you, it may be a sign that some of these patterns deserve attention — and support.

You Don’t Have to Manage This Alone

If you’ve read this and recognised yourself — whether it’s the anxiety before family gatherings, the arguments that linger, or the feeling of “why does this always happen?” — you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

Support can make a real difference. Working together, we can explore what’s happening in your relationships and help you develop healthier, more manageable ways of communicating — at Christmas and throughout the year.

If you feel you struggle with these difficulties, I’d encourage you to get in touch to discuss how therapy might help. Even having a space to talk things through can be a relief.

Navigating Change: How Interpersonal Therapy Supports Life Transitions

Life has a habit of shifting beneath our feet. Sometimes it’s expected — a new job, moving home, becoming a parent. Other times it’s sudden or unwanted, such as a relationship breakdown, health changes, or redundancy. Even changes that look positive from the outside can leave you feeling unsettled, overwhelmed, or as if you’ve somehow lost your footing.

Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) recognises this. One of its core areas of focus — Role Transitions — is designed specifically to support you through periods of change, helping you adjust emotionally, practically, and interpersonally. If you’re currently navigating a life transition and finding it harder than you’d anticipated, you’re far from alone.

In this post, we’ll explore what role transitions are, why they can feel so destabilising, and how IPT can provide clarity, grounding, and support as you adjust.

What Is a Role Transition?

In IPT, a role refers to your place, responsibilities, and identity within different parts of life — work, relationships, family, health, or social roles. A role transition happens when a major change forces you to let go of an old role and adapt to a new one.

Examples include:

• Becoming a parent (or becoming a parent again)

• Moving home or relocating to a new area

• Starting or leaving a job

• Retirement

• Changes in health or physical ability

• Starting or ending a relationship

• Children leaving home

• Recovery from illness or injury

• Changes in financial or social circumstances

Even if the change is positive, it still involves loss — loss of routine, identity, stability, or familiarity. And with loss comes emotion.

Why Transitions Can Feel So Difficult

From the outside, you might feel you “should” be coping. You might even tell yourself you have nothing to complain about because the change was something you chose, or something others view as exciting.

But internally it can feel very different.

Transitions often shake:

• Your sense of identity (“Who am I now?”)

• Your confidence (“I don’t know how to do this yet”)

• Your routines (which can leave you feeling unmoored)

• Your relationships (roles often shift alongside expectations)

• Your emotional grounding (uncertainty naturally brings anxiety)

Many people feel a mixture of grief for what’s been lost and fear about what lies ahead. Others feel numb, adrift, or disconnected from their old life and their new one.

IPT views all of this as not only understandable, but expected. It doesn’t rush you through the discomfort — it helps you make sense of it, process it, and find a way forward that feels more manageable and meaningful.

How IPT Helps You Navigate Transitions

When IPT focuses on role transitions, the aim isn’t simply to help you “cope”. It’s to support you in understanding the emotional impact of change, adjusting to new demands, and strengthening the relationships and supports around you.

Here’s what that looks like in therapy:

1. Exploring What’s Been Lost

Every transition involves an ending. You might not have given yourself time to acknowledge that.

IPT helps you:

• recognise and name emotions you may have pushed aside

• make sense of what you miss about your old role

• understand why letting go feels difficult

This isn’t about dwelling — it’s about validating your experience so you can move forward rather than feeling stuck.

2. Understanding the Challenges of the New Role

Together, we explore what the new role actually entails:

• What expectations are you trying to meet?

• What’s realistic — and what isn't?

• Where are you placing pressure on yourself?

• What feels unfamiliar, frightening or confusing?

This often brings enormous relief. When things are named, they’re much easier to navigate.

3. Building Skills for the New Phase of Life

Transitions sometimes require new skills or adjustments. IPT might help you:

• build confidence in communication

• develop strategies for new responsibilities

• expand your social support network

• create more sustainable routines

• find ways to manage emotional overwhelm

Small practical shifts often create big emotional changes.

4. Strengthening Your Support System

Change can feel lonelier than we expect. IPT helps you understand:

• who you can rely on

• how to communicate your needs

• where connection might need strengthening

• how to build new sources of support

Many people discover they aren’t as alone as they thought — they just needed a space to understand how to reach out.

5. Reframing the Transition

Eventually, therapy helps you shift from “I’ve lost something” to “I’m growing into something new”.

This can involve:

• redefining your identity within the new role

• recognising strengths you’ve developed

• connecting with new values or priorities

• building a sense of purpose and direction

It’s not about pretending everything is perfect — it’s about finding stability and meaning again.

What IPT Sessions Look Like When Focusing on Transitions

IPT is time-limited and structured, usually lasting between 12–20 sessions.

Early Sessions

We work together to understand:

• the change you’re facing

• the emotional impact

• your relationships and support network

• what feels hardest right now

We identify the heart of the transition — the specific parts that feel most painful or uncertain.

Middle Sessions

This phase focuses on:

• emotional processing

• adapting to new demands

• strengthening communication

• exploring practical adjustments

• building confidence and support

It’s collaborative, grounded in your real-life experiences, and focused on making change feel manageable.

Ending Sessions

We consolidate your progress and look ahead:

• what’s improved

• what feels different internally

• what strategies are helpful going forward

• how to maintain momentum after therapy

Ending therapy can feel like a transition in itself — and IPT makes space for that too.

You Don’t Have to Navigate Change Alone

We often underestimate how deeply transitions can impact us. You may find yourself thinking:

• “I should be coping better than this.”

• “Other people manage this — why can’t I?”

• “I feel guilty for struggling.”

• “I feel lost and I don’t know who to talk to.”

But struggling with change doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you’re human.

IPT offers a structured, compassionate space to understand what this transition means for you, emotionally and practically, and to find your footing again as life shifts around you.

If any of this resonates — whether you’re in the middle of a major life change or can feel one approaching — you’re welcome to reach out. I’m always happy to talk things through and help you find the support you need.

If you think you might benefit from IPT or want to chat about how therapy could support you through a transition, feel free to get in touch to arrange a free consultation.

You don’t have to navigate change on your own. I’m here when you’re ready.

CBT for Social Anxiety: Building Confidence One Step at a Time

“I don’t want to go because I don’t know anyone”

“People are staring at me”

“I must make sure I have someone with me”

“They’re judging me”

“You sound stupid”

These are thoughts that I encounter on a daily basis when faced with social situations. The gym, social events, parties, even work.

Social anxiety is one of those experiences that can feel incredibly isolating, even though so many people quietly struggle with it. If you’re someone who worries about what others think, feels tense in social situations, or overthinks conversations long after they’ve finished, you’re certainly not alone. Social anxiety can affect anyone – at school, at work, in friendships, on dates, or even in everyday interactions like making a phone call or asking for help in a shop.

The tricky part about social anxiety is that it can be sneaky. It can convince you that you’re the only one who feels this way or that other people are naturally confident and carefree while you’re the odd one out. But the truth is very different: social anxiety is common, understandable, and treatable.

At Bradshaw Therapy & Wellbeing, I work with many individuals who feel overwhelmed by social situations, and one approach that consistently makes a meaningful difference is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). If you’re curious about how CBT can help you or you can recognise yourself in what you’re reading, you’re always welcome to reach out for support.

Let’s break it down in a calm, friendly way, so you can get a clearer picture of what social anxiety is – and how CBT can help you move forward.

What Social Anxiety Really Looks Like

Social anxiety shows up differently for everyone, but there are some common themes.

You might notice things like:

• Worrying about coming across as awkward, boring, strange, or “too much”

• Overthinking what to say before you even speak

• Replaying conversations afterwards, picking apart every detail

• Avoiding social situations, even when part of you wants to go

• Feeling physically tense – maybe your heart races, your face gets hot, or your stomach churns

• Feeling “on edge” in groups or when you feel watched or judged

Some people experience social anxiety only in certain situations – speaking in meetings, giving presentations, attending social events, or meeting new people. Others feel it more broadly and start organising their whole lives around avoiding discomfort.

If any of this resonates, please know that you’re not flawed or broken. Social anxiety often comes from a combination of past experiences, learned patterns of thinking, and the pressure we put on ourselves to be “perfect” in social settings.

Why Social Anxiety Feels So Powerful

One of the most challenging parts of social anxiety is the cycle that keeps it going. And it’s a bit of a masterpiece in how clever the human brain can be.

Let’s imagine you have a meeting at work where you need to speak up.

A thought might pop up:
“I’m going to say something stupid.”

That thought triggers anxiety, maybe with physical symptoms like a tight chest, shaky hands, or a warm face. Because that feels so uncomfortable, you might do something to protect yourself – maybe keeping quiet, rushing through what you have to say, avoiding eye contact, or preparing your contribution over and over again to the point where it drains you.

In the short term, the avoidance eases the anxiety. But in the long term, your brain gets the message that the situation really was threatening. It thinks:
“Good job avoiding that – let’s keep avoiding things like this in future.”

And before you know it, social anxiety starts shrinking your world.

How CBT Helps Break the Cycle

This is where CBT comes in. CBT is an evidence-based approach used widely in the NHS and private practice, and it’s particularly effective for social anxiety because it directly addresses the patterns of thinking and behaving that keep anxiety going.

Here’s what therapy usually focuses on:

1. Understanding Your Patterns

In CBT, we slow everything down and gently piece together what happens for you personally. Social anxiety isn’t the same for everyone, so it’s helpful to map out your thoughts, physical feelings, and the behaviours you use to cope.

A lot of people discover “safety behaviours” they didn’t even realise they were using:

• Rehearsing sentences in their head

• Speaking quietly to avoid attention

• Avoiding eye contact

• Holding a drink or phone tightly to feel less exposed

• Staying on the edge of a group

• Overpreparing emails, presentations, or messages

These behaviours are understandable, but they keep anxiety in place. Noticing them is the first step towards change.

2. Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts (Gently!)

CBT isn’t about forcing positive thinking. Instead, I help people look at their thoughts as possibilities, not facts.

For example:
“Everyone will notice how anxious I am.”
CBT helps you test whether this thought is accurate, helpful, or realistic. More often than not, people realise that others are far less focused on them than they imagine.

This isn’t done in a pushy way – it’s done with curiosity, warmth, and small steps. The aim isn’t to convince yourself you’re amazing. It’s simply to adopt a more balanced, compassionate way of thinking.

3. Reducing Avoidance and Safety Behaviours

This part can sound daunting, but in practice it’s gentle and collaborative. You never have to do anything you’re not ready for.

Together, we create small, manageable experiments that help you see situations differently. For example, if you normally rehearse your sentences before speaking in a meeting, you might gradually experiment with saying something more spontaneously.

Or if you always avoid talking first in a group, you might practise something tiny like saying hello or asking a simple question. These steps build confidence naturally over time.

People are often surprised by how freeing this can feel. Instead of trying to control every detail, you start experiencing situations more authentically – and anxiety slowly loses its grip.

4. Building Sustainable Confidence

CBT isn’t about becoming the most confident person in the room. It’s about helping you feel more grounded, more capable, and less afraid of being yourself.

Many people who complete CBT for social anxiety say things like:

• “I no longer replay conversations for hours.”

• “I speak up more at work without panicking.”

• “I feel more present around other people.”

• “I trust myself more.”

CBT offers tools that you can take into everyday life, so the progress keeps building long after therapy ends.

Common Myths About Social Anxiety and CBT

Because social anxiety thrives on self-criticism and worry, people often hold onto beliefs that simply aren’t true. Here are a few I hear all the time:

“Everyone else is confident – I’m just socially awkward.”
Not at all. Confidence varies hugely from person to person, and many outwardly confident people feel anxious on the inside.

“I should be able to fix this on my own.”
Anxiety is not a personal failure. It’s a pattern the brain learns, and therapy is simply a way of unlearning it with support.

“Therapy will make me do things I’m uncomfortable with.”
Good CBT never forces you into anything. It’s always collaborative and paced to suit you.

“It’s too late for me.”
It really isn’t. People of all ages work through social anxiety successfully.

You Don’t Have to Keep Struggling Alone

Social anxiety can deeply affect your quality of life – from relationships to career opportunities to everyday confidence. If you’ve been carrying this silently for a long time, please know that things can get better.

CBT offers a structured, supportive, and empowering way to understand why you feel this way and how to change the patterns that keep anxiety going. Many of the people I work with tell me they wish they’d reached out sooner.

If anything in this blog resonates with you – even if you’re not sure whether therapy is “right” for you yet – you’re very welcome to get in touch. Sometimes a simple conversation is all you need to explore your options and see what support might help.

I offer a warm, understanding space where you can talk through what’s been happening for you, without judgement or pressure. Whether you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure where to start, we can work together to help you build confidence, reduce anxiety, and feel more at ease in your social world.

Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.

Interpersonal Therapy for Relationship Difficulties

Relationships are central to our sense of wellbeing. When things feel calm, connected, and supportive with the people in our lives, everything else tends to run more smoothly. But when communication becomes strained, conflict builds, or emotional distance starts to grow, it can leave you feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or unsure how to put things right.

A lot of people assume that the only way to work on relationship problems is through couples' therapy. But actually, that isn’t always necessary—or even the most helpful route. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) offers a different approach: it’s an individual therapy, designed to help you understand and improve your side of the relational pattern. You don’t need your partner, friend, parent, or anyone else to attend sessions with you. It’s about your experiences, your communication style, and the changes you want to make.

In this post, I’ll walk you through how IPT works for relationship difficulties from an individual perspective. I’ll share examples, explore the kinds of changes people often make, and explain how working on your own patterns can lead to meaningful improvements. And if anything resonates with you as you’re reading, please feel free to get in touch—I’m always happy to talk through whether IPT could be a good fit.

What Is IPT—and Why Does It Work for Relationship Difficulties?

Interpersonal Therapy starts with a straightforward but powerful idea: our relationships affect our emotions, and our emotions affect how we behave in relationships. When communication breaks down or patterns become unhelpful, it can contribute to feelings of depression, anxiety, frustration, or disconnection.

Although it focuses on relationships, IPT is always delivered one-to-one.
This is important because it means:

• You don’t need anyone else to attend the sessions.

• You can explore things openly without worrying about someone else’s reactions.

• You can focus on what you want and what you can change.

In IPT, we look at:

• How you communicate when you’re under stress

• How you respond to conflict or misunderstandings

• What triggers certain emotional reactions

• What you want or need from relationships

• How you can express yourself more clearly and calmly

• How you can navigate difficult situations with more confidence

You may be surprised by how much can shift in a relationship when you begin relating differently.

Why Relationship Difficulties Arise (Even in Healthy Relationships)

Difficulties don’t necessarily mean a relationship is failing. In fact, problems often crop up during times of stress or transition, such as:

• A new job or redundancy

• Moving house or relocating

• Becoming a parent

• Illness in the family

• Bereavement

• Financial pressure

• Changes in daily routine

• Feeling emotionally exhausted or overloaded

It’s common for people to blame themselves or assume they “should” cope better, but realistically, these pressures can unsettled even the strongest relationships.

IPT helps you take a step back, understand what’s going on, and explore how you can respond in a way that feels healthier and more intentional.

How IPT Works When It’s Just You in the Room

Although IPT focuses on improving your relationships, the work happens individually. Together we explore your thoughts, your emotions, and your communication patterns.

Here’s what that might look like:

1. Understanding Your Relational Style

We begin by looking at how you typically communicate and respond in relationships. This might include:

• How you behave when you’re upset

• Whether you tend to withdraw, shut down, defend yourself, or try to “fix” things quickly

• What makes you feel unheard or misunderstood

• What you find difficult to express

• Patterns you’ve noticed across different relationships

This isn’t about blame—it's about clarity.

For example:
A client realised that when they felt hurt, they withdrew to avoid conflict. Their partner interpreted this as a lack of interest. In IPT, the client learned to express, “I need a moment, but I’m not going anywhere.” That one sentence changed the dynamic significantly—without their partner ever attending therapy.

2. Building Practical Communication Tools

Communication is a skill, not something we instinctively do well. IPT helps you develop tools such as:

• Using “I” statements to express emotions

• Saying what you need rather than expecting others to guess

• Recognising early signs of overwhelm

• Creating space before responding

• Expressing frustration without criticism

• Setting calm, healthy boundaries

• Repairing after conflict in a more grounded way

These tools come from you, which means they’re fully within your control.

3. Exploring Role Disputes

A role dispute occurs when you and someone else have different expectations about your relationship. It might relate to:

• household responsibilities

• parenting

• how affection is shown

• how decisions are made

• how much time is spent together or apart

• emotional support

You don’t need the other person present to explore these things. IPT helps you clarify your expectations, articulate them more clearly, and approach conversations with more confidence and calmness.

4. Rebuilding Emotional Connection From Your Side

You may be surprised by how much emotional closeness can return when one person begins communicating differently. IPT helps strengthen connection by supporting you to:

• Understand your emotions more clearly

• Share vulnerability in a safe, grounded way

• Respond to others with more empathy

• Break out of unhelpful reaction cycles

• Communicate reassurance or warmth more openly

This can have a profound impact on your relationships, even though the work is one-to-one.

Examples of IPT for Relationship Difficulties (Individual Work)

Here are a few examples (with all identifying details changed) to show how IPT works in practice.

Example 1: “I Avoid Any Difficult Conversation”

Alex avoided conflict completely. If something felt uncomfortable, they shut down. In IPT, Alex explored where this pattern came from and learned ways to express small concerns before they built up. Alex’s partner didn’t attend therapy, yet the relationship improved simply because Alex communicated differently.

Example 2: “Arguments Spiral Quickly”

Sam found arguments escalated within minutes. Through IPT, Sam identified triggers, learned to pause, and practised expressing difficult emotions more calmly. Their partner noticed the change straight away, and arguments became shorter and far less intense.

Example 3: “We Drifted Apart After a Big Life Change”

After moving to a new city, Emma felt anxious and disconnected from their partner. IPT helped Emma understand how stress was affecting their communication and how to ask for support more clearly. By shifting their approach, connection gradually returned.

Again, no couples' therapy was involved—just individual work.

What IPT Sessions Look Like

IPT is structured but warm. You can expect:

1. Early sessions

   • Understanding the issue

   • Mapping out relationship patterns

   • Setting goals

2. Middle sessions

   • Practising communication strategies

   • Exploring recent situations

   • Trying out new approaches between sessions

3. Later sessions

   • Strengthening new habits

   • Reviewing progress

   • Planning for future challenges

Each session builds on the last and always feels purposeful.

How IPT Feels From the Inside

People often worry they’ll feel blamed or judged when exploring relationship difficulties, but IPT isn’t about fault-finding. It’s about clarity, agency, and emotional understanding.

You can expect to:

• Feel supported and understood

• Gain insight into your own patterns

• Build confidence in expressing yourself

• Develop healthier boundaries

• Create positive change from your side alone

• Strengthen the relationships that matter to you

You can’t control someone else’s behaviour, but you can change how you communicate, respond, and care for yourself. That often creates more space for connection and understanding.

Is IPT Right for You?

IPT may be helpful if you:

• Struggle with communication

• Avoid conflict

• Feel misunderstood

• Notice the same relational patterns repeating

• Want clearer boundaries

• Experience recurring arguments

• Feel disconnected from someone important to you

• Want to change how you show up in relationships

You don’t need to be in crisis to seek support. Many people use IPT to enhance their relationships, not just repair them.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

If you’ve recognised yourself in any of this—or if you’re curious about whether IPT could help—you’re very welcome to reach out. I offer a friendly, no-pressure conversation where we can talk about what you’re struggling with and whether IPT might be the right approach for you.

Sometimes working on your side of the relationship is the most empowering step you can take. If you’d like guidance as you begin that journey, I’d be happy to help.

World Men’s Mental Health Day

Every year, World Men’s Mental Health Day comes around, and every year I find myself thinking the same thing: I wish more men knew they didn’t have to carry everything alone. Not because men are incapable or weak — far from it — but because somewhere along the line, many of us were taught that strength means silence, resilience means repression, and emotional pain is a private battle. I wanted to specialise in Men’s Mental Health for that very reason.

I’m a therapist now, but I’m also a man who has had his own share of mental-health challenges. I’ve sat in the client’s chair as well as in the therapist’s. I know what it’s like to lie awake at night, convincing myself that “it’s fine” when every part of my body was saying otherwise. I know what it’s like to feel the weight of expectations, responsibility, pride, and fear sitting squarely on my chest — and to have no idea how to loosen the grip.

So today isn’t just another awareness day to me. It’s personal.

And if you’re a man reading this — or someone who loves, lives with, or works alongside men — I hope something here lands with you in a way that opens a door.

Men Are Struggling — And Many Are Struggling Quietly

If you work in mental health, as I do, you see patterns. You hear stories that echo one another. But even outside of therapy rooms, you don’t have to look hard to notice how many men around you are tired, burned out, overwhelmed, unsure, or silently hurting.

Men are more likely to die by suicide.

Men are less likely to seek help.

Men often wait until crisis before reaching out.

These are not statistics I’m going to throw around lightly or sensationally — you’ve probably heard them before. But what matters more is why this happens. And the reasons are much more human than many realise:

• We’re taught to be the “fixer,” not the one who needs fixing.

• We fear burdening others.

• We worry about being judged or misunderstood.

• We’re unsure how to even describe what’s going on internally.

• We think asking for help is admitting defeat.

I’d be lying if I said these beliefs disappeared the moment I became a therapist. They didn’t. They’re still around. But they look different.

What Men’s Mental Health Actually Looks Like

We often imagine mental health struggles as sadness, crying, withdrawing… the stereotypical images. But for many men, it looks very different. Men often don’t say “I’m depressed.” They say:

• “I’m exhausted.”

• “I’m stressed.”

• “I’m losing patience.”

• “I just can’t focus.”

• “I’m not myself lately.”

• “I feel numb.”

Or they say nothing at all.

Men’s mental health challenges often show up as:

• Irritability

• Anger

• Emotional shutdown

• Overworking

• Drinking more

• Risk-taking

• Physical symptoms like chest tightness, stomach issues, headaches

• Feeling disconnected from partners, children, or friends

• Difficulty with intimacy or vulnerability

• A sense of failure or inadequacy

If any of that feels familiar, I want you to know: it’s not a character flaw. It’s not a sign you’re “not strong enough.” It’s simply your mind and body saying, Hey, something needs attention.

That’s all.

And there’s no shame in that — only humanity.

My Own Turning Point (And What I Wish I’d Known)

I’m not going to pretend I always handled my mental health well. For years, I simply pushed through. The times when I felt lonely, the times when I felt angry, sad and suicidal.

I told myself, “It’s just a rough patch.”

Until it wasn’t.

And eventually, I hit the point many men hit: I couldn’t pretend anymore. The cracks I’d ignored became impossible to plaster over. I was functioning, but not living. Showing up, but not connecting. Helping others, but not helping myself.

What changed everything wasn’t a dramatic moment; it was simply admitting, quietly and honestly, I can’t do this on my own anymore and asking someone to help me.

That admission felt risky. Embarrassing, even. But it was the most courageous thing I’ve ever done.

Therapy didn’t magically fix me — that’s not how it works — but it gave me language for things I’d buried, tools for things I’d avoided, and space for things I’d never voiced. It taught me that vulnerability and strength aren’t opposites. They are partners.

And it taught me that asking for support doesn’t shrink you as a man. It expands you as a human.

The journey isn’t perfect, far from it; and it’s one that I continue to this day.

Why Reaching Out Is So Hard for Men (And What Can Help)

From a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and IPT (Interpersonal Therapy) perspective, there are a few patterns I see repeatedly in men:

1. “I don’t want to burden anyone.”

I hear this constantly.

Here’s the truth: people who care about you want to know when you’re struggling. Silence actually creates more distance, not less.

2. “I’m supposed to be strong.”

Who decided strength doesn’t include emotional awareness, communication, or self-care?

Strength isn’t the absence of difficulty. It’s the willingness to work through difficulty.

3. “I don’t know how to talk about it.”

Totally fair. Most men haven’t been taught the vocabulary for emotions.

Therapy isn’t about showing up and spilling everything perfectly — it’s about learning at your own pace.

4. “Things aren’t that bad.”

If you wait until things are unbearable, you’ve suffered needlessly.

It’s okay to seek support early, before crisis hits.

5. “No one will understand.”

You’d be surprised. Once men start opening up — even a little — they often discover they’re not nearly as alone as they assumed.

What I See In the Therapy Space

I see men who have spent years, sometimes decades, holding things together for everyone else.

I see fathers terrified of letting their families down.

I see sons trying to live up to expectations that were never spoken aloud.

I see partners who want to be present and loving but don’t know where to begin.

I see professionals who seem successful on paper but feel empty inside.

I see young men who feel lost and older men who feel worn down.

And I also see something else:

Once men begin talking — even cautiously, even clumsily — something shifts. Relief is often the first thing. Relief that they don’t have to keep everything inside. Relief that someone is listening without judgement. Relief that they’re allowed to be human.

And from that relief comes possibility.

Because when you create space for your pain, you also create space for joy, connection, meaning, and growth.

You Don’t Need a Crisis to Need Support

One of the most damaging myths is that therapy is only for extreme situations.

Here’s the reality I wish more men understood:

• You can go to therapy because you’re stressed.

• Because you’re exhausted.

• Because you’re confused.

• Because you feel stuck.

• Because you can’t switch your mind off at night.

• Because something feels “off” and you can’t pinpoint what.

• Because you want to understand yourself better.

You don’t need to hit rock bottom.

You don’t need to justify your pain.

You don’t need to wait until you’re falling apart.

If your mind is whispering, “Something isn’t right,” that’s enough.

A Few Things I Want Every Man to Hear Today

1. You’re not weak for feeling overwhelmed.

You’re human. Full stop.

2. You deserve support just as much as anyone else.

Your needs matter too.

3. Your struggles don’t define your worth.

Not as a father, partner, friend, colleague, or man.

4. Talking about what’s difficult isn’t self-indulgent — it’s responsible.

The people around you benefit when you’re mentally well.

5. You don’t have to have the words for everything right now.

Just being open to trying is enough.

If You Love or Care About a Man Who’s Struggling

World Men’s Mental Health Day isn’t only for men — it’s for everyone who has a man in their life.

If someone you care about seems distant, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, withdrawn, or “not himself,” here are a few gentle ways to support him:

• Ask “How are things really?” and mean it.

• Give him space to open up at his own pace.

• Don’t jump in with solutions too quickly.

• Remind him he’s not a burden.

• Normalize seeking support — therapy, GP, talking to someone.

• Share resources without pressure.

• Let him know you’re there, consistently.

Sometimes the smallest nudge can make the biggest difference.

If You’re a Man Reading This…

If any part of this resonated with you — even a line, even a sentence — consider this your sign.

Consider it permission.

Or encouragement.

Or simply a reminder that you don’t have to figure everything out alone.

There is no perfect moment to reach out for support. Only the moment you decide you deserve to feel better than you do right now.

Whether it’s therapy, talking to your GP, opening up to someone you trust, or even starting with an anonymous support line — take the next step. Any step.

You don’t have to commit to massive change today.

You just have to be willing to start a conversation.

If You Know a Man Who Might Be Struggling…

Send him this post.

Invite him for a coffee.

Check in — genuinely.

Tell him he matters and he deserves support.

Sometimes the connection we offer others becomes the bridge that saves them.

How Bradshaw Therapy & Wellbeing Can Support You

At Bradshaw Therapy & Wellbeing, I work with men from all backgrounds — professionals, tradesmen, students, fathers, retirees, you name it. There is no stereotype, no expectation, no “ideal client.” Just real men trying to navigate real challenges.

As a male CBT and IPT therapist who has been on the other side of the therapeutic relationship myself, I understand how daunting it can be to reach out. But I also know how transformative it can be.

Therapy can help with:

• Stress and burnout

• Anger and frustration

• Depression and low mood

• Anxiety and overthinking

• Relationship difficulties

• Self-esteem challenges

• Life transitions

• Grief and loss

• Emotional numbness or shutdown

• Feeling lost, stuck, or overwhelmed

You’re not expected to walk in and bare your soul. You’re simply invited to start where you are.

You’re Not Alone — Even If It Feels Like It

World Men’s Mental Health Day is a reminder, but the reality is this:

Men’s mental health matters every single day of the year.

Your mental health matters every single day of the year.

Whether you’re the man carrying the weight, or the person who sees him struggling, the first step is the same:

Don’t stay silent.

Reach out.

Talk.

Ask.

Share.

Listen.

Connect.

Support is available.

Help is available.

Change is possible.

And you’re worth that change.

If you’re ready to take that step — or even if you’re just considering it — Bradshaw Therapy & Wellbeing is here. Truly here.

Navigating Grief with Support: The Role of Interpersonal Therapy (IPT)

Grief is a natural response to loss, but at times it can feel all-consuming or like it’s lasting longer than you expected. It can start to affect your daily life, your relationships, and your sense of who you are. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) offers a supportive and structured way to work through grief — helping you make sense of what’s happened, express your feelings, and begin to reconnect with others and with life.

In IPT, we explore how loss has affected your relationships, routines, and sense of identity. Together, we look at the emotions that come with grief, how your roles and connections may have changed, and what kind of support you need right now.

For example, someone who’s lost a close family member might find themselves withdrawing from others or feeling unsure how to reach out for help. Through IPT, we would gently work on expressing those feelings, identifying supportive people, and finding small, manageable ways to re-engage with life again.

Therapy might involve talking openly about your loss, adjusting to new responsibilities or changes in your life, strengthening the relationships that bring comfort, and finding practical ways to cope with challenges as they come up.

IPT for grief usually takes place over 12 to 20 sessions, but it really depends on what you need and how you’re feeling. It can be particularly helpful if your grief feels complicated or prolonged — when it’s hard to move forward or reconnect with meaning after loss.

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. If any of this resonates with you, please get in touch. I’d be happy to talk about how IPT could help you work through your loss, rebuild connection, and find a sense of balance and hope again.

CBT for Low Self-Esteem: Building Confidence Step by Step

Low self-esteem can affect many parts of life — from how we relate to others to how confident we feel at work or in social situations. It can make even small challenges feel overwhelming. The good news is that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) offers practical, evidence-based tools to help you challenge self-critical thoughts and gradually rebuild self-confidence.

Understanding Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem often develops over time, shaped by early experiences, unhelpful comparisons, or patterns of negative self-talk. CBT helps you identify these thinking habits, examine whether they’re accurate or fair, and begin to replace them with more balanced, compassionate perspectives.

Through this process, you can learn to respond to yourself with greater understanding and confidence, rather than criticism or doubt.

How CBT Can Help

CBT gives you the structure and strategies to rebuild confidence gradually and realistically. Techniques may include:

• Challenging Negative Beliefs: Noticing unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with realistic, supportive alternatives.

• Behavioural Experiments: Taking small, practical steps to test out new ways of thinking and behaving.

• Self-Compassion Practices: Learning to treat yourself with kindness rather than harsh judgment.

• Goal Setting: Setting achievable goals to build momentum and celebrate progress.

A Personal Note

I know what it’s like to struggle with low self-esteem — it’s something I’ve experienced personally. CBT has made a real difference for me and continues to be a helpful part of how I maintain balance and confidence. That’s one of the reasons I’m so passionate about using this approach to help others build a more positive relationship with themselves.

Taking the Next Step

CBT offers practical, effective strategies to help you recognise your strengths, quieten self-criticism, and approach life with greater self-assurance.

If you’d like to explore how CBT could support you, I offer a free consultation where we can talk about what’s been happening and how therapy could help you build lasting confidence and self-worth. If that sounds like something you think you, or someone you know could benefit from do get in touch.

IPT for Depression: Healing Through Relationships

Depression affects mood, thoughts, behaviour, and relationships. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) is an evidence-based approach designed to reduce depressive symptoms by focusing on interpersonal issues and life transitions that may trigger or worsen depression.

Understanding IPT
IPT works on the principle that improving interpersonal relationships can enhance mood and overall wellbeing. Therapy focuses on four key areas: 
1. Grief: Coping with loss. 
2. Role Disputes: Conflicts with significant others. 
3. Role Transitions: Adjusting to life changes. 
4. Interpersonal Deficits: Building social skills and support.

Example: Someone feeling low after losing a job may explore their relationship with colleagues, develop communication skills, and plan strategies for social support, which helps improve mood.

How IPT Sessions Are Structured
IPT is usually short-term (12–20 sessions) and structured. Sessions focus on current problems, improving communication, and developing practical solutions. The therapist provides guidance while encouraging clients to take active steps in their relationships and daily life.

Practical Exercises
- Communication Analysis: Understanding patterns of interaction and improving assertiveness. 
- Role Play: Practising difficult conversations to enhance confidence. 
- Social Network Review: Identifying sources of support and ways to strengthen them.

FAQs About IPT for Depression
Q: Can IPT be combined with medication? 
A: Yes, IPT is often combined with antidepressants for optimal results. 

Q: Is IPT suitable for everyone with depression? 
A: It’s particularly useful when depression is closely linked to interpersonal issues or life transitions.

IPT offers a supportive, structured approach to address depression by focusing on relationships and social roles. 

If you’re experiencing low mood, struggling with life changes, or finding relationships difficult, contacting me today could be your first step towards recovery and emotional wellbeing.

CBT for Anxiety: How changes thoughts can ease worry

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health challenges in the UK, affecting millions of people every year. It can feel overwhelming, creating persistent worry, physical tension, and avoidance of everyday situations. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment that helps people manage and reduce anxiety by addressing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours.

How CBT Works for Anxiety
CBT helps you understand the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Anxiety often arises from anticipating danger or negative outcomes. For example, someone might think, “If I speak in a meeting, I will embarrass myself,” which leads to avoidance and heightened anxiety. CBT teaches you to recognise these thoughts, test their accuracy, and develop more balanced perspectives.

Examples of Techniques Used in CBT for Anxiety

- Worry Management: Learning to manage worries so that they do not rule your life
- Cognitive Restructuring: Challenging unrealistic beliefs and replacing them with realistic alternatives. 
- Exposure Therapy: Gradually facing feared situations to reduce avoidance and build confidence. 
- Relaxation Training: Techniques such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation to manage physical symptoms of anxiety. 
- Behavioural Experiments: Testing out predictions to see if feared outcomes actually occur.

Practical Example
Someone with social anxiety may avoid group settings due to fear of judgment. In CBT, they would start with small, manageable social interactions, monitor their thoughts, and notice that feared outcomes are often exaggerated. Over time, confidence grows, and anxiety decreases. If this sounds like you, contact me today.

FAQs About CBT for Anxiety
Q: How long does CBT for anxiety take? 
A: Typically, 12–20 sessions, but this can vary depending on individual needs. 

Q: Is CBT suitable for all types of anxiety? 
A: CBT is effective for generalised anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, phobias, and health anxiety.

Final Thoughts
Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life. CBT provides practical strategies to regain control, reduce worry, and improve daily functioning. 

If you’re ready to take the first step towards managing anxiety, contact me today to explore your options in a supportive, confidential setting.

What is CBT and IPT? A Simple Guide to Two Effective Therapies

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) are two of the most researched, effective therapies for mental health challenges. Both approaches have helped thousands of people manage conditions like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and relationship difficulties. While they share some similarities, their focus and techniques differ, making them suitable for different situations and client needs.

Understanding CBT
CBT is based on the idea that thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected. Negative or unhelpful thoughts can create emotional distress and lead to maladaptive behaviours. CBT helps individuals identify these thoughts, challenge them, and replace them with more balanced, helpful thinking. Techniques include cognitive restructuring, behavioural experiments, exposure therapy, and relaxation strategies.

Example: Imagine someone who believes, “I always fail at everything.” This thought can create anxiety, avoidance, and sadness. Through CBT, they learn to test the evidence for this belief and gradually replace it with a more realistic view: “I sometimes make mistakes, but I also succeed in many things.”

Understanding IPT
IPT focuses on the role of relationships and life events in mental health. It helps people understand how conflicts, role changes, or loss impact mood and functioning. IPT is particularly effective for depression and grief, but it can also support other challenges where relationships play a key role.

Example: A person experiencing depression after a breakup may benefit from IPT by exploring the relationship patterns, improving communication skills, and learning how to strengthen supportive connections.

Key Differences
- CBT: Focuses on thoughts and behaviours. Structured, skill-based, often short-term. 
- IPT: Focuses on interpersonal relationships and life transitions. Also structured and time-limited, but emphasises emotional processing.

Combining Approaches
Sometimes, therapists integrate CBT and IPT techniques to meet the client’s unique needs. This flexibility allows for addressing both cognitive patterns and relationship issues simultaneously.

Final Thoughts:
Choosing the right therapy depends on your personal goals and the challenges you face. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or relationship difficulties, both CBT and IPT offer practical strategies and compassionate support. 

If you feel ready to explore therapy, you can reach out today to discuss how CBT or IPT could help you regain balance, confidence, and wellbeing.

Welcome to My Blog: Exploring CBT and IPT for Better Mental Health

Hello and welcome — I’m glad you’ve found your way here. My name is Martyn Bradshaw, and I run Bradshaw Therapy and Wellbeing Ltd, where I specialise in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT). I work with adults across the UK, providing compassionate, evidence-based support for a wide range of emotional and psychological difficulties.

Therapy can often feel like a big step, and finding reliable information about what works can sometimes feel overwhelming. That’s why I’ve decided to create this blog — a space where you can explore how CBT and IPT work, what they can help with, and how these approaches might support you or someone you care about.

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What to Expect from This Blog Series

Over the next 20 weeks, I’ll be publishing a new post every week, each focused on how CBT or IPT can be used to support common mental health concerns. Topics will include:

- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Depression and low self-esteem
- Grief, loss, and life transitions
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Social anxiety, phobias, and health anxiety
- Insomnia and workplace stress
- And much more…

Each post will break things down in a clear, accessible way — explaining how these therapies work in practice, sharing real-world examples, and offering insights you can take away.

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Why CBT and IPT?

Both CBT and IPT are evidence-based therapies that have been shown to make a real difference in people’s lives. CBT focuses on the links between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, while IPT looks more closely at the role relationships and life events play in our wellbeing.

Together, they provide practical, structured ways of understanding ourselves better and moving forward when life feels stuck, overwhelming, or painful.

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Join Me on This Journey

My hope is that this blog will not only inform but also inspire — giving you tools, insights, and reassurance that change is possible. Whether you’re curious about therapy, looking for support, or simply want to understand more about mental health, you’re in the right place.

If something you read resonates with you and you’d like to explore how therapy might help, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach out directly through my website to discuss your needs and see whether CBT or IPT could be the right fit.

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✨ Stay tuned: the first blog post in the series will be published next week!